I have been reading the story of Jacob in the Bible lately and one of the things that keeps playing in my head is that Jacob was not perfect. Let me back up, Jacob is the one who God changes His name to Israel. He receives the promise of God from his father but he doesn't receive it in the most honest way. Jacob and his mom devised a plan to steal the birth right from his twin brother Esau. Esau was in line to get it because he was the oldest, but God told Rebecca that the oldest was going to serve the youngest. This is what exactly ends up happening.
In my head I kept thinking, But isn't it wrong for him to steal? Yet he still receives the promise. Yes, it was wrong, but the promises of God over power everything. God's love covers all of our sins. The steal he did in his past didn't keep Jacob from the still God had for in the future. Your past mistakes, are not going to keep God from blessing your present and your future. The only thing that is stopping you is you.
Jacob spent twenty years working for someone else before he received the promise of God and became Israel. He had to become Israel in his heart first, then it manifested on the outside. He didn't complain nor did he quit. He kept the hope of the promise of God in his heart.
Keep doing what you are doing,
but do it with the hope of whatever God promised you in your heart. You haven't done too much to remove God's promises from your life.